A boss is someone that has authority due to their position. A leader can often be anyone on the team and earns their title through their actions. Be the leader by being the boss of your actions and situation. Hold yourself accountable to be the leader you want to be.
Nothing works better than positive reinforcement when it comes to relationship building
That doesn’t mean you have to always be fake or brown-nosing. It’s as simple as it sounds because most people do respond better to positivity. Positive vibes work very well in just about every situation.
I had a high school football coach tell a lineman next to me “You came off the ball quickly and gave the guy a good hit, but you didn’t move your feet so he killed the quarterback. Keep your feet moving and we are going to start moving the ball.”
I ask the coach, “Why did you say he came off the ball quickly when he really didn’t?” “The other kid is even slower and I want him to feel like he is doing well so our quarterback doesn’t spend the weekend in the hospital,” was his response before pushing me toward the huddle. Later, the coach explained that he always tries to be positive, critical, then positive again. He does that because people tend to remember the critical point when it’s surrounded by positivity. They will also work harder if they feel appreciated.
I got the point pretty quickly, but I also had no idea how much it would impact my life.
Appreciation leads to effort
People will work just as hard as they have to so they get a check if they don’t feel appreciated. Some people will stay at a job that they don’t like their whole life if they get a check. They won’t work hard to excel, but they’ll keep working for that check. This isn’t a win-win for the boss or the employee. No one is really getting what they want. The employee hates their job. The boss has an employee that is working just hard enough to not get fired.
Show the employee that they’re appreciated and they’ll usually work harder. Some bosses may not be accustomed to showing appreciation. There are plenty of bosses that feel the financial reward is all people need or want. However, there is also plenty of opportunities to plant seeds with the boss about how to best motivate the people on your team including yourself.
Build the best in people
If you want to get the most out of life, then you need to get the most help and teamwork out of your people as possible. That really goes for all your people in every type of relationship in your life. Human nature doesn’t change much at home or the office in this regard.
Build the best in people by being a positive influence. There is always something for us, as people, to deal with. Life really isn’t easy for anyone and we all have plenty of reasons to be stressed about something.
Know that whomever you’re speaking with is dealing with something that you don’t know about. It doesn’t matter if you’re speaking to the janitor or the CEO because there is something that could be better.
The best way to build people is to authentically follow the Golden Rule. It’s not always easy to put yourself in the other person’s shoes but the results usually make the effort worthwhile.
It’s not always easy to separate ourselves from whatever problems we are facing, but it’s important to deal with things at the moment you need to.
Some tips on how to build positive vibes with people:
- Smile more- Smiling and laughter is contagious just like misery loves company.
- Don’t be too reactive- Ground yourself in some way before responding to something negative or stressful. Try pinching your toes together or grasping the ground with your feet (even if you’re wearing shoes) because this will give you a second to ground yourself. Emotional responses rarely help.
- Avoid gossip and office politics- This may not be easy in every situation, but it’s always important because nothing good comes from gossip. Very little good comes from politics either.
- Always offer help- Everyone likes people that help them. People can also tell when someone is just coasting or doing the bare minimum. The person that is constantly volunteering to help get things done stands out.
- Focus- People tend to not realize how much time they waste in a day. Be mindful of the task at hand and limit distractions. This will help you do better with your work while also helping you stand out a bit.
- Encourage others- We all need appreciation. The more appreciation and thoughtfulness you show others the more you are likely to receive.
Let me know your thoughts
I am sure there are plenty of things that I am neglecting here. Please feel free to let me know your thoughts in the comments below. I love the feedback and learning from others so please don’t be shy sharing down below.
About the author: Mike O’Connor is the creator of the #ServiceProfessionalsNetwork #SPN. The SPN group on LinkedIn is growing in popularity daily because of how it promotes the Golden Rule and win-win networking. The SPN social media website is also a great place to share your own LinkedIn articles, YouTube videos, Blogs or whatever else that you want more people to see. Create an account on SPN to grow #StrongerTogether with us. Mike also helps people that want to start to Crushing B2B sales as an SEO & Networking consultant.
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